day7; backonTrack

My life has been in shambles the past week or more. But I think I'm back on track.Thank fuck...and all of my amazing friends for keeping me sane.
Today was a good day, I got a few more resumes out. Ate real good (except for the meatloaf at dinner shinanigan but we won't go there) AND had a fantastic workout with T. We've decided to push limits and go at least one lap further every night that we run. SO today we walked 1 lap, ran 2, walked 1, ran 3 and walked another. Endurance isn't my thing, I'm more into spriting... so though 3 laps non-stop may not sound like a whole lot.. It is to a sprinter, and when you push past lap 2 and decide to go for that 3rd the feeling is absolutely amazing. There were some boys on the track and we managed to keep pace with them, which is also a fantastic feeling.
Got a tonne of core work in as well, T brought her yoga balls, and mats - it's good to have a workout buddy, because you get to catch up as you work out and it makes things a lot more fun. That's everyones tip of the day... everything's better with a buddy.....everything.
Despite the whole 'fitness' gig going fantastic, there's still a lot that I need to figure out.
Step 1: Mission Fitness is in effect. so now it's time to look further into..
Step 2: JOB SEARCH ... I keep telling myself that I have put out a lot of resumes, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm either not putting them in the right places, or I don't have a very good resume. So I guess I'll have to work on that. I really need to start going to bed earlier so that I can wake up early... but I can never seem to sleep! I wish there was a way to shut off my brain, so it would stop thinking about all the craziness in life. This week's pretty busy, hopefully that will allow me to stay sane.

I'm currently watching 'employee of the month' which makes me think MAYBE I'll work at a grocery store, looks like a promising career.
theres a moth on my computer.I don't like dealing with that sort of thing.its attracted to the light. I have to go. xX

dancedance

Today ended up being busier than expected, twas my nieces dance recital (a must see). She's amazing, and she won a medal! My eating was a little thrown off, because I went to Red Lobster and it's my absolute favvvv. T&I are hitting the track tomorrow...for real this time. Things have been weird lately, but I'll embrace it...eventually everything will fall into place! Everything happens for a reason riiiiiight!! One of the songs that the girls danced to was called "slow me down" it reeeeeeallly is my life. check these lyrics (it's a fantastic song so listen to it)

Slow Me Down: Emmy Rossum
Rushing and racing and running in circles;
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose

Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere
My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart
Save me
Somebody take my hand, and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down
Sometimes I fear that I might dissapear
In the blur of fast forward I faulter again
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere
All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Passed me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart
Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down
Just show me
I need you to slow me down
The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please
Slow me down
xX

ewps;ididitagain

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm really not keen on relationships.Why? Because they're dumb and they never workout. A guy and a girl can be friends... lots of people like to stay in touch with their friends right? but alllllll of a sudden sex gets involved in the mix, and things turn to shit. What was once a friendly phone call or text message, is now a complete annoyance...what was once fun hangout time is now a fucking chore. Pasts become issues, people start looking into the future and getting all freaked out... Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we get ourselves so deeply involved in other people, that what you once loved about them is now absolutely repulsive. Life is a game, and everyone's a player...some of them can get pretty nasty. Pink says it best in her song "Mean", it's so impossible, but so common that things quickly turn from fantastic to confusing, to over, and eventually forgotten. Whether it was a week, a few months, or a couple of years - it's all the same and its allllllll a game. But thankGOD through it all you learn //every man for himself, trust is THE worst form of hypocricy, fairytales aren't real, and if something seems too good to be true then it probably is.
I don't feel like writing today. let's be more positive tomorrow, shall we?

day 4;stillFailing

SoOoO yesterday was an active rest day. I love DOMS.
I had my interview @ the mall.. The thing I like about group interviews are they're very good learning experiences.. 90% chance that I won't get the job we were all applying for, because 4/5 of the people there sounded a lot smarter and cooler than I did BUT now I have all their smart/cool answers to commonly asked interview questions, so I think we know who the real winner is here.
Operation Angelina Jolie is still inder control. Yesterday was a write off, I really was sore.
Today has been alright, except I'm coming to realize that I REALLY need to get focused of the whole "life plan" thing. We all know I'm not big on making plans, but sooner than later I'm either going to a) Go Crazy or b) Die of complete Boredom... or even better? A combination of both!!

I didn't write yesterday because the only internet connection I had was bluetooth, through my phone - and someone brought to my attention that it could get pricey, soooo after losing 2 cheap poker tournys, and doing some much needed downloading, I got off as quickly as possible - and had no time to update bloggy! my bad.

Tonight is the big game 7.. hope to HELL Detroit chokes!! GO PENS (I'm not a fan, just for tonight because I'm completely anti-redwings)

I'll get a bit of a workout in tonight, but probably not enough...Still working on the whole dedication thing... but I ammmm determined.Tomorrow it's back to the track. I swear.
xX

day2;redundancy

Redundancy: the state of being redundant[dictionary.com] HMM who would have thought?
Redundancy: repetition,routine,overlapping,relationships ...my LIFE

I did good today..when we're talking about the whole fitness thing at least. I ate like a pro! Wheat cereal for breaky, meal replacement for lunch (puke), apple for a snack, protein shake post-workout, and a noice porkchop dinner ( I guess dinner could have been a wee bit healthier but whatev's give me sommme credit! )
I did a nice delt. workout today, and then T&I worked the track like champs. Running is hard to get back into when you haven't stuck to it for a while.. so running 2laps non-stop was good, then we walked 1lap, and ran another 2 and so on. HOWEVER, I drank far too much water today (which is usually a good thing) needless to say we had to make a quick sprint over to the arena, I'm sure you can guess why.
Then it was hammer time. A few planks/side planks (seconds feel like hours when you're planking) 2 sets of pushups, 50 crunches, and some oblique work that could have used a little more enthusiasm.
I was furrrrious[jealous] with some douchebag [amazing endurance runner] because he was running the track like he was preparing for a marathon... I was litterally swearing at him under my breath, like okay buddy 96laps without slowing down is impressive, we frickin get it already...showoff... I wish I had a tad more endurance, mostly so it would stop feeling like I'm about to have an athsma attack after a few laps....practise makes perfect I presume.

so anyways... my new 'you can't do it' goal? A fitness level equivalent or close to that of Angelia Jolie as Laura Croft in Tomb Raider.
<--- So you can't really see the definition, but believe that it is there... I mean you have to be preTTy strong to fight off robots, and crazy people who are looking to end your life WHILE jumping through the air and hanging from the ceiling. It's a bit of a long shot, but I'm up for the challenge. The more people that tell me "you can't do it" the harder I'll push myself. I figure it will only take a few months of insanely intense cardio, a LOT of toning, probably some yoga, and a mega boob job...kidding, I'm sooo not into that (another day another rant)

Anyways, that's my ideal body goal and I'm sticking to it. One day... you'll see. Definitely not today, and certainly not tomorrow... but one day :)

Other than fantastic hours of fitness, the day was pretty shitty. I've been confused about a lot of things lately, and I don't have enough of an attention span to stick with things that confuse me or hurt my head... I'm so quick to toss something to the curb if it's making me feel crappy, but I need to grow up and deal with things. The GIANT thing that bugs me about people, is definitely technology, it's incredibly easy to stalk people without meaning to, like if you message someone on facebook, and they don't write back... but it says on your 'facebook feed' that they 'wrote on so and so's wall 4 minutes ago' .. you get a little suspicious... Don't avoid me, I know all the excuses...thats my gig.
People have much different backgrounds, and pasts...and I really need to realize that... I am a super overanalyzer, and take way too much to heart... I need to cut it out. Some people have lives, thats understandable, and I guess acceptable.... Maybe I just need a hobby... thank god for blogging.

xX

alreadyFailing.

so I didn't pull an allllllnighter...and I certainly did NOT get up at 6am for a run. I don't think that's a good time, I mostly want to run at that time because there is no one around, but now that I think about it I don't give a what if people are around.
SO I failed day 1 of the competition. BUT I still went down fighting. I had a meal replacement for dinner (diiiiisgusting) and for dessert? A 2.5km run, 50 situps, 20 pushups and one hell of an arm workout. I think thats fair game.

Got an interview to lulu lemon today... stoookeddddd, especially about the 45minute commute I'll be enjoying every day if I get the job.
Things are falling into place?

Tomorrow I'll wake up earlier?

Competition

...on second thought, lets start off with saying I want to pull an allnighter so that I can goto bed early tomorrow which will get my sleep schedule back on track...because I can't goto bed early if I've slept in too late the past day, and I can't wake up early if I stayed up to late the past night.. you read? ANYWAYS//

Competition: Sociology. rivalry between two or more persons or groups for an object desired in common, usually resulting in a victor and a loser but not necessarily involving the destruction of the latter. [dictionary.com] WRONG
Competition: NicoleTerms. Getting shit done; The single and only way that Nicole can ever accomplish anything in her life. BINGO
Sorta like bribing a child, or an un-intelligent animal into doing something that you want them to do...turn something -that I really don't want to do- into a competition, and 9.9/10 times I'll definitely get it done, happily.
I love games, I love sports, I love winning... and I most often do whatever it takes to win; can't always win, thus, when I don't I always have a semi-legit excuse...okay so I'm a pretty sore loser, but everyone is to a certain extent.


Everyone knows that I've been super down about a lot of things lately, and there is NOTHING I hate more than being a downer. I do have determination, and I do have drive;I know I need to get up and do something about my situation, but right now life just seems like a vicious cycle of lies, boredom, and games(not the fun kind of games though, more so the 'never-ending, every man for themselves, who cares who gets hurt' games that no one ever wants to play....like risk)
SO I've been unemployed for about a month now, its terrible... I'm getting to used to it... I have been handing out resumes and I have been making somewhat of an effort, but I could be doing a lot more.
SO I've gained like 10lbs and have way too much time on my hands to not be doing anything about it.
HERE'S what's going to happen:

I'm going to compete...with myself...to finally accomplish the things that I want to accomplish, like losing these DAMN extra pounds that I've seemed to accumulate somewhere along this ridiculous journy of mine. I am going to document it to some extent (won't put every gory detail) so that if I'm not getting results, I'll have to post it on here... and look like a moron OR a loser... I hate being the loser, so I'll give it my all.
Graduating from fitness and health obviously taught me a lot about fitness, weight loss, and the ridiculous fad diets, pills and exercise regimes that people attempt. Despite the fact that I'm an unfit 'fitness professional', and feel rather hypocritical about it... I WILL do this the right way. I WILL get up in 3.5 hours and go for a run.
it's 2am and I have a terrible case of A.D.D... so forgive this mess of writing.
bottom line: I have bet myself that I can't do anything about my situation... I will prove myself wrong. I have a goal, determination, drive. I will compete with my stupid negativity...and I will prevail! boooyaa
ps: i failed the allnighter.
GoodNight MuchLove xX.