Competition

...on second thought, lets start off with saying I want to pull an allnighter so that I can goto bed early tomorrow which will get my sleep schedule back on track...because I can't goto bed early if I've slept in too late the past day, and I can't wake up early if I stayed up to late the past night.. you read? ANYWAYS//

Competition: Sociology. rivalry between two or more persons or groups for an object desired in common, usually resulting in a victor and a loser but not necessarily involving the destruction of the latter. [dictionary.com] WRONG
Competition: NicoleTerms. Getting shit done; The single and only way that Nicole can ever accomplish anything in her life. BINGO
Sorta like bribing a child, or an un-intelligent animal into doing something that you want them to do...turn something -that I really don't want to do- into a competition, and 9.9/10 times I'll definitely get it done, happily.
I love games, I love sports, I love winning... and I most often do whatever it takes to win; can't always win, thus, when I don't I always have a semi-legit excuse...okay so I'm a pretty sore loser, but everyone is to a certain extent.


Everyone knows that I've been super down about a lot of things lately, and there is NOTHING I hate more than being a downer. I do have determination, and I do have drive;I know I need to get up and do something about my situation, but right now life just seems like a vicious cycle of lies, boredom, and games(not the fun kind of games though, more so the 'never-ending, every man for themselves, who cares who gets hurt' games that no one ever wants to play....like risk)
SO I've been unemployed for about a month now, its terrible... I'm getting to used to it... I have been handing out resumes and I have been making somewhat of an effort, but I could be doing a lot more.
SO I've gained like 10lbs and have way too much time on my hands to not be doing anything about it.
HERE'S what's going to happen:

I'm going to compete...with myself...to finally accomplish the things that I want to accomplish, like losing these DAMN extra pounds that I've seemed to accumulate somewhere along this ridiculous journy of mine. I am going to document it to some extent (won't put every gory detail) so that if I'm not getting results, I'll have to post it on here... and look like a moron OR a loser... I hate being the loser, so I'll give it my all.
Graduating from fitness and health obviously taught me a lot about fitness, weight loss, and the ridiculous fad diets, pills and exercise regimes that people attempt. Despite the fact that I'm an unfit 'fitness professional', and feel rather hypocritical about it... I WILL do this the right way. I WILL get up in 3.5 hours and go for a run.
it's 2am and I have a terrible case of A.D.D... so forgive this mess of writing.
bottom line: I have bet myself that I can't do anything about my situation... I will prove myself wrong. I have a goal, determination, drive. I will compete with my stupid negativity...and I will prevail! boooyaa
ps: i failed the allnighter.
GoodNight MuchLove xX.