I attempt to wake up from a horrid dream of someone following me creepily and quietly for reasons unknown. Screaming and kicking it seemed as though I'd never wake; struggling to do so but wanting to so bad...I knew it was a dream, and with that information I knew that I should wake up at any second.
Finally I was coming to life, I woke myself squeezing my pillow- startled, and unable to comprehend where I was or who I was with"what's with you" I heard an unsuspected familiar voice question, "you're kicking and screaming, and clenching onto anything in reach." With my left hand I reached over to feel the face of who was talking - hoping that I would be wrong with my assumption...unfortunately I was all too right. It was a voice of whom I had loved in the past, but never expected to hear again [at least not while in my peaceful bed, in my peaceful new life] I couldn't make sense of things, and it certainly didn't help that my brain was still half asleep.
With my left hand still resting on his [for namesake lets call him...imbecile] I went through things quickly in my head Maybe the last 2mths of my life had been a dream, and this is real life - the way things should be...maybe I've been with him this whole time, and everything else was a bad dream. After trying to put the pieces together -having no luck in doing so- I stretched my tired and confused body - reaching all the way across the bed with my right hand I felt something impossible... with a handful of familiar fur my first thought was this apartment doesn't allow dogs, especially giant collie-shepherds - this can't be true I quickly snapped back to reality... my family dog Jasmine! I started crying immediately "Jasmine" I whispered - and I heard the big friendly dog wake in a heartbeat at the sound of my voice. "No, no, no, this can't be" I started crying, screaming this time, in disbelief. "What is your problem tonight, you're acting crazy, stop crying it was just a dream" stated Imbecile, "Go back to sleep." Was he serious? I thought to myself could it be that I actually was going crazy? I jumped out of bed and looked around the room, pinching myself to ensure that this was in fact reality that I had woken up to. It HAD to be a dream, or maybe I was just hallucinating. Yes, that's it, I was still exhausted from my restless sleep... I was just imagining Jasmine there, the dog that had been put down last summer [may she rest in peace] I knew that was true, because it hurt me so deep hearing the news of having to put down the most innocent of lives...that was something that had to be real. I tried to convince myself once more that Jasmine was not in fact real, but it was still to dark to see clearly. With my voice trembling I called her name and patted my leg, waiting for the dog -that couldn't possibly be there- to run to my side. Sure enough, she came galloping over. I screamed again. I tried to remember a conversation that my roommate Tyler and I had had a few weeks ago, I remember agreeing that in dreams, when trying to punch something - it was almost always impossible for me to make full contact...I began punching myself, as hard as I couldn... I wasn't making contact... so that settled it! I was dreaming!! Thank goodness...now how do I wake up? I ran out of my room looking for someone, anyone who could wake me from this terrible dream, it wouldn't be so terrible if it wasn't for the fact that I had already awakened from the previous nightmare...wasn't I already conscious? Why couldn't I remember going to sleep? Where was I? Why couldn't I remember anything? Nothing was real. Everything that was happening was completely against everything that was real.
Finally I snapped back into reality, I woke up in my bed -alone this time- lights off, with my door wide open...wait, the door was open. I never turn out the lights but leave the door open... was part of this real? Had I woke up, walked out of my room and then came back to bed? I must have been hallucinating, or sleep walking... there had to have been some explanation! Why could I still not remember going to sleep? Or maybe it wasn't a hallucination, maybe Imbecile was letting Jasmine out.... "Jasmine?" I whispered... no response. Good. This meant that I was awake again, finally. I tried to get back to sleep despite the two previous disturbances in my rest.It was then that I felt it, a somewhat large body had jumped on my back... the same body that had been in my first nightmare following me, trying to kill me? But I hadn't done anything! I couldn't decipher what was real and what was a dream anymore. I had waken up too many times for this to be another dream.. hadn't I? I had to at least try to wake up... but I couldn't... I couldn't even move. There was a giant body on me, I was unable to see who it was or what it was planning on doing... I could feel it though. "Why did you leave me, why did you leave me to die" asked the unfamiliar males voice, "now it's your turn" So this is it I thought to myself... I could feel the stranger lift his arm as if he was about to hit me..or worse.. I caught a glimpse of the knife. At least I had my back to him, and I wouldn't be able to see what was coming....his hand came down...
My eyes opened.
I was alive.
My memory was back.
I was fully aware or what was going on, and where I was.
....and I was extremely afraid to fall asleep again.
I feel like I had to get this dream out (while I still remember it), because it might have been the weirdest one I have ever had... now maybe this line of weird dreams has come from reading the ever so popular "Twilight Saga" but still, in the past I've been able to make sense of most of my dreams, or at least enjoy them enough to not have to make sense of them... This one seemed all to real, and I had to wake up 3 or 4 times before I was finally back in my own life... this freaks me out. How can we be so conscious and aware of whats going on, yet completely out of control of our own imaginations? Dreams are fantastic... even this one -though it was creepy as hell, and more nightmarish than dreamlike- One day I'll rant about dreams, because they creep me out, leave me confused, mystified, and excited all at the same time... what do they MEAN!?!!?
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I didnt like most of this for obvious reasons. But, dreams absolutely have tremendous meaning and are look into our subconscious mind that we dont normally get to see. Its our deepest thoughts, our darkest fears and our longing desires. I have taken a couple classes on dream interpretation and what I learned was incredibly fascinating. The old family pet reminds you of a time that life was more comfortable and care free. If you are experiencing a troubled/stressful time, your mind will revert back to a time when you had pure joy and no stress to think of. As for imbecile.. it could symbolize that your feelings are dead and this is your minds way of telling you this. also that you are feeling afriad/anxiety/anxieties about changing situations in your own life. All in all, I do think this is pretty indicative of things you are going through currently, and that coupled with the heat, the lack of sleep, and stuupy Twilight series added up for what could be considered a lucid dream. Remember it, and learn from it.. because really, its your mind talking to you :)
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